Mary Very Easily Made John Sell Used News (Papers?)

The scientific world has, since today, observed a major change. Our solar system now only consists of 8 planets as poor Pluto was deemed no longer fit to be called a planet, but will now instead be more well-known Disney cartoon character (ahyuk! oh wait, that was Goofy right?). So much for the mnemonic device, Mary Very Easily Made John Sell Used News Papers (Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Pluto). Instead, now Mary Very Easily Made John See Used Nylons?

As for me, I might now just surf up E-bay and see if there's any nine planet solar system models/charts I can buy for cheap to store as a collectible. Who knows, it might be worth millions in the future! And I can tell my grandchildren, "When Popo was in school, there were nine planets! NINE! Not eight!" as they laugh behind my back, chuckling at their crazy popo who obviously doesn't know peanuts about basic science.

Holy Guacamole!

It seemed like it was going to be good day. I had a good day at work, then went to the gym for kwando and yoga class, and picked up a couple things at the grocery store before heading home. My agenda for the night was to watch the finale of So You Think You Can Dance and Project Runway while making lunch to bring to work tomorrow.

I decided on guacamole served with vegetable chips and promptly started mincing and mashing onions, chillies, peppers and avacados in a big bowl. My final touch was a fresh squeeze of lime juice for a tangy refreshing taste, but while slicing the not-so-ripe lime, my knife slipped and lacerated my ring finger (is that an sign that I was not made for matrimony?). My mind went to the hymn that I used to sing in church, "There is a fountain filled with blood, drawn from Emmanuel's veins", as blood came gushing out of my finger going all over the kitchen floor and sink. I gave a small yelp and quickly (Step 1:) put it under running water (Step 2:)while putting pressure on the wound. After a few moments, where I blissfully thought a band aid will make the finishing touches on the cut, I let go of my hand but watched woefully as more blood came gushing out while the skin on my finger flapped away from the finger. It didn't hurt then, and I was rather fascinated by how much blood I had and how the inside of my finger looked just like uncooked instant noodles (same color and texture!). As I was alone at home, I made a few frantic phone calls until I found a good buddy who came promptly to take me to the emergency room.

Two hours and seven stitches later, I got home and finished up my guacamole sans one uncut lime which I decided I will save for another dish at another time, when I can again summon the courage to use a knife.

Op

Today, I went to the hospital for my first ever surgery. It was a quick procedure, I checked in by writing my name on a green card, and proceeded by watching a soap opera in the waiting room until a nurse came and called my name. Hopped onto the surgery chair and got myself covered in blue sheets, with a little cut-out hole over the to-be-operated-on area. My doctor (old and not cute, like I anticipated!) came into the room and got gloved up and numbed my arm. The procedure was pretty painless, I really couldn't feel a thing. It was quite relaxing in fact, just lying in the chair well the doc did his thing, and I was bored to the point where I was doing some Keegels whilst while he operated.

The quick twenty minute procedure was over in a jiffy. I was a really good patient, and the nurses ooh-aah-ed at my bravery. They would probably have given me a lollipop if I were ten years younger. I chatted with a couple of them, and waved my goodbyes with a cheery smile. Two hours and two painkillers later, my facade had made quite the turnaround. I whined and grumbled while my patient roommate complied with my wishes until I fell asleep. Whattaday.

A Brazilian Experience

Maybe it was the hot weather, or the fact that it was bikini season, or maybe just because, that prompted me to schedule an appointment at the beauty parlour on a lazy Saturday afternoon. When it came to my turn, I was ushered into a tiny corner of her salon, with soothing cream walls and a green ceiling. Jenny, my Vietnamese-American esthetician complimented my cute denim skirt which was, by that time, already folded up on the floor. I stared blankly into space as she snapped on her gum and smiled at me.

"First time?"
"Yep."
"I remember my first time, I screamed."

With that, she proceeded with her business with me. The very first strip was quite jarring and rather painful. By the end of the session, my toes were curled up and my fingers clutching the sides of the chair. But really, it wasn't too bad. It was rather bizzare experience, having someone staring intently at your crotch for half an hour whilst you keep your legs spread in rather odd positions. The results, however, are amazing.