The Mystery of the Missing Birthday Package

Dear USPS,

I sent a birthday package to my one and only sister two weeks ago only for her to tell me it had just arrived today. It was cleanly slit open with all its contents missing, simply labeled, "damaged in handling". I dropped off the package personally during off-hours at the USPS in Amherst, NY (Located at 5500 North Bailey Ave.). I bought adequate postage using the APC at the entrance before entrusting it in your hands through the big mail bin. Alas, I did not purchase the insurance or tracking services which you kindly (and unfortunately, necessarily) provide.

This package contained a blouse (worth $49.00), chopsticks sets (~ $4.00) a tea infuser thingamajig (~$5.00) a birthday card (~$2.00) and lots of love (priceless). I do understand that things get damaged during handling, but this looks like thievery to me. I hope you do the right thing.

A disappointed patron,
Melissa Lee.

Bad Timing

Bad timing is when you're sneaking out for a game of tennis in the evening and the elevator doors open at the entrace with your boss on the other side of the doors.

The Three Little Pig (Stories)

Little Pig Story #1: Afghan Pig

Excerpts:
Afghanistan's lone pig in the Kabul Zoo is under quarantine to qualm fears of panicked visitors who fear swine flu. The interned animal, known simply as "Pig", was one of two given to Afghanistan by China in 2002. However, the other pig and their offspring were killed in an attack by a bear. Despite being the only pig, it was not too lonely.

"The pig made friends with a goat and was happy sticking to the goat in the enclosure, where some other goats and deer were on show for visitors."

Little Pig Story #2: Swine Flu Hits Malaysia

Less than two months before my journey home, swine flu emerges in America only to travel swiftly to Malaysia through a university student flying out via New York. I'm only hoping that my friends do not treat me like a diseased pariah when I get home. I'll keep the sniffles to a minimum.

Little Pig Story #3: Accoustic Pigometer

Cops: Part II

I got pulled over by the cops, yet again! This time, after dinner accompanied by a 1.5 drinks. *Gasp!* (Important Note: I was not intoxicated!)

I was driving home when bright blinding lights appeared on my rearview mirror. My heart was thumping in my chest as I pulled over. It took an eternity before the police officer appeared at my window.

"License and registration."

I fumbled for my purse and promptly handed him my health insurance card. POMCO. Fuck shit oops. Took it back and gave him the real thing. I fumbled into my glove compartment next and couldn't tell the difference between my registration and insurance card. Great. BIMBO anybody?

"Is there something with your eyes?"
"I'm not wearing my glasses, officer."
Also, silently in my head I'm screaming, "These smudges below my eyes, sir? They're from the lack of sleep and wearing cheap mascara after 12 hours at work, sir! Not drunkeness!"
"Follow my finger with your eyes."
He shines a blinding flashlight into my eyes.

ZOMG. Left. Right. Left Right. Leeeefft. Riiiight. Llllleeeeeeft. Rrrrrriiiiight. leftrightleftright. Phew. Clearly, you can see, I'm not drunk.

"You didn't signal back there."
"I'm sorry?" Does that work? I just 'stayed' in the rightmost lane that was going straight. Technically? Is that okay? I really don't know.
"Well, drive home safe."

I thank my lucky stars tonight.

...And That Was How I Joined Twitter.

Oprah is doing it. Ashton is doing it. Obama is/was doing it. People are raving about it. Twittering...it's almost like a living being - random stream of many thoughts, or tweets rather, that begins to self-assemble into organizational clusters with a purpose. Companies monitor tweets for product feedback. Claims have been made that tweets have been answered in 15 seconds: someone throws out an idea, and receives instant feedback. Heck, it even started a revolution.

Or so they say.

On Friday, I was googling frantically, albeit fruitlessly, for a protocol to silanize a quartz surface with a hydrophobic surface (preferably in an manner that allows it to be stripped away easily after use). Galvanized by twitterific stories, I boldly signed up for twitter, promptly posting my first tweet, in less than 160 characters:

"melissaleemy is looking for a method to silanize quartz with a hydrophobic surface, preferably a gentle, easily-removeable method!"

I waited eagerly and then some but was sorely disappointed. Nobody tweeted back! Poo poo. So much for twitter miracles. And that was how I joined twitter.

http://twitter.com/melissaleemy

Bill Nye, The Science Guy... Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!

I bagged front row seats (Row D!) for the University at Buffalo's Distinguished Speaker Series featuring Bill Nye, the Science Guy. Decked out in his familiar bow-tie, Bill spoke passionately about preserving planet Earth, our Goldilocks planet: not too hot ala Mercury or Venus but also not too cold like Mars or ex-planet Pluto. Earth is just right. For now. The current climate changes occuring, however,are real and in dire need of attention. Nye not only talks the talk, but walks the walk: his home is decked out with solar panels, he competes with his neighbour to see who can lower their energy bills the most and he hands out lettuce from his garden to friends because they are "growing like weeds".

With a science spin in his speech, Nye reminded the audience that technology could be the saving grace of our planet, only if we choose to apply ourselves to pursuing it. John Tierney in his column pointed out that environmentalists in the 70s were burdened by guilt because of the doomed equation: I=PAT.

Impact = People x Affluence x Technology

It seemed that the more of PEOPLE there were, and the more AFFLUENT we became, coupled by the TECHONOLOGY we embraced, our IMPACT on the planet's climate was exacerbated .

Now, however, there exists a possibility that we can still maintain our planet yet simultaneously sustain growing humankind without retarding development. Green technology IS the answer. Electric cars, solar & wind powers, nanotechnology, efficient batteries are just the tip of the iceberg. The ball is in our court.

Happy Earth Day!

Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday April!

It's the birthday of a member of the BFFFFF-fantabulous four-Empat Sekawan-gang.

That's the birthday blog shoutout.
There was also the (international! chewah!) text message sent at approximately 12am (12pm EST!!!)!
Then, there was the googlechat birthday wish, plus a lot more chit chat.
Then, there was the facebook wall post. (I note that three of us have removed the year of birth from our profiles. We are approaching the unspeakable age zone?)

Maybe later, a birthday wish on her blog comments section.
Luckily, we're not into twittering (yet).
We've also quit friendster, cuz that was so nineties. Facebook is in.

Technology is exhausting.

Seen!

At a bookstore one Sunday. China is part of Europe? I didn't know Americans were that bad at geography!



As everyone cashes in on the sudoku craze by posting this puzzle everywhere, quality control is certainly slipping. Two fours in one row? Fail! Luckily, the puzzle-solver (not me!) noticed it before wasting too much time. Might I recommend doing a kenken instead?

Earth Hour

My parents guilted me into observing Earth Hour through their gushing e-mail telling me how they had their lights off for an entire hour.

So, here I am, at work (as usual, ugh!), with the lights turned off. It's all symbolic though; my computer is still running as I need to finish up some reports. I am half tempted to turn the lights back on as I'm trying to look at my notes and finish updating my lab notebook through this white glow from my computer screen.

This futile annual one-hour practice reminds me of an article I read a while ago. Earth-concious people were hotly debating whether one-use disposable diapers were more eco-friendly after all than cloth diapers that constantly needed to be washed and scalded in hot water and detergent. Disposable diapers consume plastics and papers whilst reusable cloth diapers go through many washing machine runs (typically, unless one is willing to boil water on a gas stove and do them by hand). The writer astutely observed, however, that either choice outweighs the much smaller carbon-footprint left by the decision of not having a baby at all in the first place.

We Can Do It!

It was almost midnight when I left work. I was heading out to the parking lot when I saw two cars facing each other, hoods open with three men boys huddled over them. I could already tell they weren't sure what they were doing when I saw all four ends of two jumper cables connected to the both battery terminals - with neither car started.

"Um, do you know how to jumpstart a car?" asked the three boys.
"Sure." said I.

1. Disconnect all cables! You do not want to discharge the good battery into the bad battery. The jumper car needs to be started to keep the battery going.

2. Connect the positive cable to the positive terminal of the jumper car battery. Then, connect the other end of the positive cable to the positive terminal of the jumpee car battery.

3. Connect the negative cable to the negative terminal of the jumper car battery. The other end of the negative cable then needs to be grounded on an unpainted metal surface of the jumpee car.

4. Let the battery charge for a little bit, and voila! The car should start and keep running (unless the battery has serious problems or the alternator is dead). If the car battery failed for no reason (lights were not left on, etc.), it should get checked out!

5. The cables should be removed in the reverse order they were put on.

I actually left once they got the jumper cables connected right, without making sure everything was all right. Based on my previous post, I freaked out thinking this could be a cunning scam to get me locked in between three men and two cars, bash me in the head, steal my things and leave me for the dead! If that wasn't their intent, I sincerely hope they are all right. Hopefully, the problem was just a dead battery due to leaving a light on and not any other car malfunctions.

This moment is made especially poignant, as I was reading Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique at the bookstore this weekend.

I love newspieces like this!

Here is a news piece featured today on my campus newspaper:

Strong-arm robbery reported in Governors lot

A female student was robbed in the Governors Service Parking Lot at approximately 8:20 p.m. on Friday, according to university police.

A male suspect approached the student from behind, pushed her to the ground, and attempted to run away with her purse, the news release said.

The female student was able to trip the suspect and recover her purse, Chief of University Police Gerald Schoenle stated in an e-mail. The male suspect then ran toward the Academic Spine.

The suspect is described as a white male, approximately 6-feet tall and between 165 and 185 pounds, with a muscular frame. He was described wearing a baggy black hoodie and black sweatpants.

"We of course would like to remind students that it is always best to travel with others especially after dark, use the university transportation systems and the Anti-Rape Task Force escort services whenever possible," Schoenle said.

A University Police Department lieutenant declined any further comment.

I really want to meet this girl! Or maybe, I want to be this girl! To have the strength to clobber a muscular six footer male must be amazing. The guy must be such a pussy though. He can't even follow through a robbery. Pfffft.

That said, I'm going to be more alert walking to my car now. Karate chop!

Haircut

My attempt to channel Jessica Alba's bang(s)ing hairstyle ended up with me looking like a photo that was taken during my first day of school. Or worse, like Bai Ling! (No offense?)

Staying On Course

I think the thin line that separates determination from stubborness is the outcome of success or failure.

Blood(y) Donation

I gave blood for the first time today! Ineligibilty due to tattoos, piercings and living/visiting in my moderate-malaria-risk home have prevented me before, but with the passing of (too much) time, I managed to meet the conditions making me an eligible donor for the American Red Cross.

Unfortunately, my blood-pumping power that day was not as pumped up as I was over the opportunity. I had three phlebotomists and one nurse fuss over me for almost two hours, as the vein in my left arm slowly trickled life-giving blood into the bag by my side. Finally, after two people in the chairs in front of me came and went, I yielded enough blood to stop the process ask the nurse clucked-clucked her tongue at me and told me I was a brave girl. Alas, as they tried to take test tube samples of my blood from the same needle, my poor arm would not pump anything despite valiant efforts on my part squeezing a stress ball in my palm over and over again. The right arm was then called to duty to take blood samples for lab testing.

What an adventure. My next eligible donation date is March 3rd; I will drink plenty of fluids and hopefully be a better donor!

New Year

Years just fly by now. 2008 didn't seem much different from 2007. Graduate school manages to be terribly challenging but superbly monotonous at the same time. It's a huge struggle to know and read and do so much but yet everything seems the same, day in and day out.

2008 was my hump year in graduate school. I'm about halfway through and over the hump (or so I hope!). It makes the light at the end of this dark tunnel that much closer. In retrospect, 2008 has been pretty decent, although it doesn't feel so. I've managed to hold on to my sanity at school, accomplish some semblance of decent work and passed through my qualifiers. Personally as well, things have been doing fine. A solid relationship, good friendships, stable (but scant) finances and such. If I had to assign 2008 a grade, it will probably be a B.

My personal aspirations for 2009:

1. Be more patient. My stress-filled job has managed to permeate my personality, making me impatient and irritable. I hope this is not a permanent effect.

2. Be more reflective. I need to take time to wind down, read and reflect at the end of the day.

3. Girlfriend(s). To find some! All my female posse have left NY. I need to find good girlfriends who possess the same vibe. Applications being accepted!

4. Be healthy. I need to find more time for yoga, exercise, fish, fruits and vegetables in my life.

As an afterthought, I wish I could do more volunteer work. Work doesn't allow anytime at all (or is this just an excuse?). This aspiration has been put on hiatus. Hopefully not for long!

Happy New Year!